oh..again?! already?!

Ive been having an awful lot of braxton hicks..no backache just a lot of cramps that make me stop and breathe through them, and about 2 weeks ago i lost a tiny bit of plug, ive been reassured all is normal. Last night i had a tiny tiny bit of blood loss, so this morning  i wanted to make sure all was well, anyway midwife was in the area (the nice one) and i dropped in to her clinic and she gave me an exam., apparently im  2cm dilated already! Gah, she just told me to take it easy, i have a history of this anyway, i was 2cm dilated from 28 weeks with my 2nd son , so its no biggy , just means ill probobly be suffering from lots of cramps and a plug that keeps losing bits and replenising itself..fun..ooh well will sit on my bum and knit lots more then hey?!  26 weeks and 3 days. Perhaps i ought to at least think about getting baby stuff now? 

midwifes..pah

So went to the midwifes today i dread going there because its run by two women..one who is lovely and the othr who quite frankly is an arse, the same lady who grabbed my boob and shoved it in bens mouth without even asking what my name was or telling me hers..the same woman who told me my milk wasnt good enough and to give ben forumula and we need to reweigh in a few days and get him to a pediticain because he had lost too much weight..when in fact she had misweighed him and 6 hrs later came to my house to reweigh him..by which time he had , had some forumla..thank god no real perment damange was done re my milk supply..although sewing the seeds of doubt to a new first time mummy is rather stupid of her. So you can see the reason i hate seeing the midwife as its a 50/50 chance ill get her..and well today i did.  We talked then she said i noticed you want a homebirth ..then when i mentioned the consultant wasnt too concerned about me having a home birth as id already birthed vaginally she mentioned about the fistula (which i developed due to hospital midwifes imcompetnce) she pounced on it and seemed very concerned the consultant hadnt mentioned any reacurring issues to me. "did he not mention it?..umm no i did" Then she went on to say.."well midwifes are anxious enough as it is attending a homebirth let alone a lady whos already had issues giving birth"..well YOU? are anxious attending homebirths..well bully for you..so thats it in a nutshell..she gets worried ..worried about what ? Her own capablitiys or being able to assist a woman with "issues" give birth in the way its meant to be? ..Then she said, "how do you feel about an elective section , i really think that whould be a preferable option for you given the fistula and previous section"...how i stopped myself attacking her i dont know..i had my knitting needles in my bag ..was sorely tempted :P ..I replied you know id rather give birth naturally again even if it meant developing another fistula..ill take my chances thanks" ..(seeing as she and the consultant said a fistula like i had was very rare ..then exactly how rare whould it be to get the same issue again?!)  She then proceeded to mark had fistula over about 4 different pages in my notes..even though id mentioned it to the consultant..what is the point of consultants when midwifes thinks they are in charge?..

 Trouble is now its given me the colley wobbles about my own capablitys of being to have a normal birth again let alone a home birth..so there for in that 20 minute consultantion with some divvy midwife shes already wrecked my dream by daring to infiltrate my perfect vision with her posionious negativity.   

Hum..on the plus side my pregniancy is go like a dream! Im off meat. i do eat it occasionally but its rare was even a veggie for about 2 weeks because i couldnt face it and i still can only eat chicken or a bit of fish , but im getting great pleasure in healthy foods. Ive not had any spd or irratble uterus, and no keytones either  and last week i started to get some minor heartburn although last night was quite bad. Babys laying transverse at the moment but ive had 2 days of kicking under my ribs so i know babys starting to get the idea of turning. Even the consulatnt has put in his notes "in exceptional good health" in my letter to the gp..at the moment i feel wonderfully healthy and feelings of midwife aside exceptionally happy too! ..

I have to go back on the 1st of june to the hospital for a growth scan as babys measuring on the 91st and above which i know is down to them wrongly dating me on my 12 week scan, as i can remeber the day of my lmp and when we did the deed  (cd16!) 

So im now off to google reoccuring fistulas ready to shove the info up the midwifes arse next time she dares mention that issue again!

busy!

been away but have been busy, had an awful holiday in a tiny caravan with 2 toddlers with the squits :(..anyway all was made good by..on the 12th of april dh and ben both felt luke move from the outside for the first time, on the 18th my birthday i was in the bath and saw the bump move for the first time. I have now started to get some heart burn and getting uncomfortable. We had the 20 week scan and all issues with his heart are now corrected, but they recon hes measuring on the big side, im not sure if its a dating issue, or if they have over measured or if hes just measuring big at that time..who knows at least hes healthy and happy..we had our first bout of hickups last night too, seems a lot of firsts going on in the last 2 weeks! The last 2 weeks have gone very slowely maybe because the children are off , so theres no school/nursery runs to keep me distracted, i have been busy doing lots of decluttering, and diy..im hoping to get the frount path tiled today after being unfinished for almost 10 years! 

Beautiful weather here managed to wash loads of stuff too 

Next appointment is in 3 weeks for a midwife check up .

Motivation again and cuteness

Something is definatly happening re my hormones ..woke up this am with incredibly itchy nipples..and i cant stop wanting to clean. Tile magic didnt work on my kitchen tiles so have decided to get some cheap lino from ebay and ask mum to fit it..it should make it look a lot cleaner and tidyer..no more mismatched cracked tiles..i wouldnt recommend ceramic floor tiles too anyone.  So today patch some more plaster in the loo..dust the top shelf in the bathroom seeing as the ladders still up there, start sanding my rocking chair parhaps? see if theres any wood dye to re dye the living room floor where its faded. That should do . Not too much housework to do today. Keon has taken to "watering my belly so the baby can grow like a flower" when we are in the bath together..its very cute. And ben got so excited last night when i told him the baby was halfway here. Bless him he keeps saying i love your baby mummy..i have to correct him and say no ben..the babys all of ours. My brother paul is still insisting its a girl ..even though ive told him its a boy ..hes still insiting lol. Just 5 more days then our next scan at 20 weeks god i hope all is well 7 week is a long time to worry about matters of his heart x

tired and board

So my excitement for yesterday was

paint the snow damaged patch of ceiling ..Done

black the fire in the bathroom Done

fill and paint the tiny section of fallen plaster from the bathroom ceiling where its fallen off a rawlplug i guess DONE

ive also dug out the old distemper from the bubbles that keep appering in the down stairs loo, today ill pva and fill it , i couldnt get any tiles to match my kitchen ones so im going to fill the cracks , sand and try this new tile paint..i have a feeling it wont work though..hey ho just as long as it makes my floor look nicer and cleaner. i went for a long walk into about 40 mins with both boys keon was in the buggy. Then we went and had a kfc , i had the godfather meal was yummy however im not sure if its connected but i had a very runny tummy four times during the night and in quite a bit pain..things like that allways make me wonder if the babys picked it up :(. Anyway typing what i have done has motivated me a little..hoping to get the downstairs loo painted this weekend..fingers crossed!

diy stuff...

i have to do diy in my house , this is nagging diy that hasnt been done for ever and id like ti done before baby makes in an apperence. My house is clean but looking a little care worn at the moment!.

so to do

paint the snow damaged patch of ceiling ..i hope i can just get away with that !

paint the frount and back door steps..DONE

paint the hallway skirting board and top wall

black the fire in the bathroom

fill and paint the tiny section of fallen plaster from the bathroom ceiling where its fallen off a rawlplug i guess

paint the downstairs loo

paint the downstairs utility room

put up some more little coat hooks for the boys coats so they can hang up thier own things

dig up broken tile in kitchen and replace with a nice neat step

finish front path

sand rocking chair

umm we shall see

i also have to do as its taking up space!

1 quilted/crochet blanket

1 crochet patch blanket 6 inch squares

1 crochet patch 12 inch squares

1 patchwork tablecloth

1 mad square blanket

this is not inculding the other wips i have..these are just the ones taking up  lots of space!

OOOh for fiddley flower petels

Not having a fabby day today really kids started trying to kill each other as soon as they got up ..keon has moaned no stop..But i shouldn't moan. Something horrid has happened to a fellow dia ladys baby. Its awful and tragic, and now she has to explain it too her little one. Life is horrid sometimes , and i do feel so grateful for my  i children. Going to pick up my moses basket in a second..sorted out some baby bits aww i even found a chalky bear baby grow that i kept from the boys , so i think this will be lukes first outfit . Had a bit of a sort out ..one black sack for a fellow dim08 s youngest baby ..and half a sack for charity. im defintaly nesting but im trying to stop myself..what is the point of pulling out the cupboard to scrub behind it when ill want to do it again closer to the time say in about 17 weeks..(gah scary again!)